Strong Women

So this is a first for me. Blogging two days in a row! I know, everybody is in shock, including me.

So I have this problem, and I'm wondering if anybody can relate to it. When I am faced with a new challange or problem, my first instinct and reaction is this. "Oh, I can't do that." So lately I have been taking that reaction and looking it in the face and saying, "Why not? Why do I think I can't do this?" Is it because I really just don't WANT to do it, or is it actually that I think I CAN'T. And of course my stubborn nature kicks in when I think it's because I can't. So I've started to just...do it! For example. Jesse's weight bench. He got a weight bench from his parents for his birthday ordered from Sears. So I went to pick it up covertly, carried it all downstairs in small peices, and thought, man it would be fun if this was all set up when I showed it to him. What was my reaction? Of course, no, I couldn't do it. WHAT??? WHY NOT?? Just because I never have before? I'm a smart, in control, strong women. (At least some of the time) Why would I think I couldn't set a weight bench up. So I proceeded to do it. Yes, it took me probably 4 times longer then it would have taken other people, but that dosen't matter. Yes, I had to call my Father in law for help, (only once!) But that dosen't matter. Yes, it took me over an hour just to get the first peices put together but....so what. I did it. And the feeling of accomplishment I felt was so great. So I've decided that I need to make it more of a life habit to stop immediatly saying I can't!

Same as this afternoon. The lawn is so overgrown that our hose had completly dissapeared, and I had to dig around in the grass for our sprinkler. It was starting to resemble a rain forest, and since it is supposed to rain again on Saturday, I knew it REALLY needed to get done. I knew Jesse would probably have time Friday, but I was looking for something to do. So I went outside and looked at the mower.....no, I can't do that. Wait....yes, I can. And so I did. I have never mowed with that mower before, I am used to a walk behind, not a push mower, but I decided to do it. I had to call my Dad this time because I couldn't quite figure out the whole chock thing, but hey, so what? I'm not against asking for help, or needing other people, I'm just against my own brain that tries to bring me down and make me belive that I don't have the smarts to do something. It took me a LONG time, and I think I was in stage 2 labour by the time I was done, but MAN, the feeling of accomplishment. I love it. If I'm going to be a stay at home Mom, I've realized this is what I need. Projects, and goals, and challanges that keep my brain going and occupied. I can't sit in front of the TV all day and "relax", whatever that means. I need to feel like I have a purpose in this world! For a lot of people, these may seem like very trivial and silly things to feel proud about, but for me these were major accomplishments, so I wanted to share them!! I tend to be afraid of the unknown, even something as silly as the unknown of how to start a new mower, but I've decided to start trying to conquer those fears in small ways, and work my way up!