Baby Proofing

Before Athena could walk, I couldn't wait for it. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure glad she has the ability to walk, but man, the things she gets into! Just yesterday I finished taping, YES TAPING all our registers to the floor, since she is constantly taking them out, which in and of itself isn't so bad, but then she proceeds to fall into the empty hole left in the floor, which really freaks me out since there is sharp bent metal and screws on the edges that could leave some serious damage. Every couple of weeks I have to go to Wal-Mart and buy more of those door latch things, since she is always discovering new, "treasure chests" to be emptied and explored. Again, that's all well and good, but my pen/battery/miscellaneous/dangerous objects drawer, is not one I need her in just yet. Much to her little hearts dismay, as of yesterday, she can no longer empty the diaper door on her change table and scatter diapers from here to the moon. However, MY heart is rejoicing! I feel like I can barely keep up with all the cleaning as it is, never mind having to clean up scattered diapers 10 times a day! Natalie has really exuberated all this, since now instead of 2 busy hands, there are 4, and they sure are busy! I have had to jam and cram as MANY books as possible into EACH of my bookshelves, to insure that my books aren't thrown off one by one, and then sat on, and pulled apart, and tossed through the spindles into my entryway. Sometimes I think it would be really fun to have such a disregard for property, and just huck and chuck, and rip and throw, and mangle and eat ANYTHING I WANTED TO!!! Oh, how good they have it without even knowing it. :)

Loose Ends

Well, I'm not a very faithful blogger, but here I go again. I'm a stay at home Mom, (as all of you know) and since there are a few SAHM's out there who read this blog, I would love your imput and advice. The last couple of weeks especially, I have been battling some serious, "boredom/what the heck am I doing, and who the heck am I" stuff. Don't get me wrong, I love Athena, and I really do want to stay home with her and raise her, and all that good stuff, but INBETWEEN the good stuff, I get really really really bored. Most of my days seem made up of such trivial unimportant things, that my brain starts hurting just from sheer repetitivness and perdictiblility. (Is that a word?) I know no matter what you do, there is something to complain about if you want to - and the Mother of the small girl I am going to babysit at Jesse's work, always tells him how lucky she thinks I am, because I get to be at home with my daughter while she has to work for money reasons. I guess what I'm saying is, I need SOMETHING to stimulate my brain and get me out of the house - which is why I'm asking you all what are some things you do to keep yourself from going house crazy and baby crazy. The things I do right now are Mom's Time Out Wednesday morning, which I really enjoy, and that's about it. I am going to sign up for Mom's and Tots swimming lessons at the pool with Athena, in January (which would be twice a week) and I think that will be good because it gives me an outing and something different for Athena, as well as the opportunity to meet other Mothers. I don't want to go back to work, and I do know that I am lucky that financially I don't have to, but......even though it's been a year, sometimes I still do miss that 8-5 lifestyle a bit - that feeling of accomplishing something and working hard during the week. After a kazillion loads of laundry and the millionth time of putting the same object away, it can get to you. I know that this is such a important time in Athena's life, and I wouldn't want anyone else to have a say in her development at this stage - but I need some things I can do with her that keeps me active, otherwise I get moody and grumpy and my husband gets the brunt end of it, since he is the closest one around!! Not fun for him. If anyone has any suggestions or advice, like I said, give it to me!

A post for my Dad

Well, it's not Father's Day, or my Dad's birthday, or any special day at all really, but I felt like doing a post for my Dad. I feel sometimes that my Mom gets a lot of affirmation and love because well, she's a women, and my Mom, and Mom's are just easier in some ways to affirm because they are more emotional and relatable on a women to women basis. So, that's why I'm going to write about my Dad, because I love him and he deserves accalades too.

One of the most vivid and character shaping memories I have of my Dad as a child is this. It's maybe a bit odd, but stay with me. It's dark outside, the rock wall lights are on, the lights from the house are reflecting off the snow, and Tyson, myself and Dad are outside playing fox and goose. (You know, where you make paths in the snow with your feet, and can only stay on the paths created, and one person is the fox, and the other's are the geese) Sometimes I can't seperate what is a memory, and what I am just remembering from pictures, but I know this is a memory, because there are no pictures of it. When I think about this scene, I always get that, almost crying feeling, because with that memory comes such powerful feelings of safety, love, acceptance, security, and belonging. I bet that evening my Dad never would have thought as he played with his two kids, that it would have such a lasting impact on me.

My Dad played with us all the time growing up. In the winter we would go outside and make forts, slide down the big yellow slide with ice under our butts, and play all kinds of games inside. Sunday's were often game afternoons, and Tyson Dad and I spent many hours playing Risk - that hurrendously long game that never seems to end. Dad was never too busy for us, and there were lots of hide and seek in the dark games in the basement, with the awful anticipation of finding Dad in some dark corner behind a suitcase and his hand would come out and grab you. AHHHH! So scary!! I'm sure there was lots of pushing and commentary between us as to who would go first, or reach into that closet!!

I feel like my Dad was such a good example to me of a Christian man, and how men should treat women. I feel like I picked a husband who respects me and loves me properly because of how my Dad showed me by example how a women should be treated. I'm sure my parents had disagreements, but we were never privy to them, and I never remember them being angry or cold or hurtful with each other. Today when I go home, my Mom laughs the most at my Dad, and my Dad's jokes. I think that is the best!

After Bible School I went through a time of needing to decide what I actually belived for myself, and not just what I had been told was right or wrong all my life. I did some things that make me cringe now to think about, but in a lot of situations, I stopped short of going that extra step into something I would have REGRETTED majorly for the rest of my life, because I would think of my Dad. And when I thought of him, I didn't think of it in the way that he would be angry with me. I just thought about how sad he would be that I was allowing myself to be treated in such a way, and how much more he would hope for me. I credit my parents for allowing me to go through this time without a lot of interference, although I'm not sure how much they actually knew, they probably knew more then I think. I think it must be one of the hardest things to let your kids go through that phase of self discovery without pushing them away by your good intentions and wanting to protect them.

These days, whenever I call home, no matter what time, how many times a day, or what I'm interrupting, my Dad ALWAYS sounds excited to hear my voice. I think that is so goofy. How can you be excited to talk to me AGAIN!! But he always is. I sometimes think for sure he must be faking it, but who knows? Guess you'll have to ask him.

I am someone who is very emotionally attached to the past, sometimes this isn't so good, but it's just a part of who I am. When I see and hear of unstable homes, divorce, abuse, wether it be physical or emotional, I think again of how I was raised and I'm SOOO thankful.

I love you Dad, and this post could go on, but the baby is crying and I have to go. :)

I knew I needed to blog today....it is another milestone in Athena's life.......wait for it....wait for it......SHE IS NO LONGER PERFECT!!! That's right, I guess I should maybe say it's a milestone in MY life.....realizing without a doubt that my perfect, sweet, angelic little baby is NO LONGER. And has been replaced by a demanding, whiny, (dare I say it) BRATTY little 10 month old. *sigh* I guess it took 10 months for the honeymoon to end but it is sad to see it go. Discipline.....I think I thought I would never have to do that, she was so perfect. Crap. Guess I"ll have to after all.

:)

My favorite things

Well, can't always have negative lists. Here are 10 of my favorite things :)

1. Cottage cheese, old chedder cheese, valveeta cheese, cream cheese, and specialty cheese that my Aunty Eleanor always buys. I like cheese.

2. Family. I love family. It's the greatest invention of all time. I love my family, I love my in-laws, my extended family is awesome.....I am so lucky.

3. When you get on an airplane and see that you get your own little tv stuck in the seat in frount of you. Love that.

4. When you go to change what you think is going to be the grodiest diaper ever because you've been smelling it for the last five minutes, and you open it up, and there's nothing there, so you've just been smelling farts. Awesome.

5. The feeling of accomplishment after doing something you did not want to do and have been putting off.

6. Laying in bed hearing the rain on the window. This must be my all time most favorite thing.

7. Big Brother. Why am I so addicted to this show? It is almost pathedic.

8. Organizing.....well....anything.

9. Listening to the same new song I like 20 times in a row really loud in the vehicle on the way to Peace River.

10. Getting unexpected letters in the mail. Eveyone e-mails now, so to get a letter is now doubly exciting, and when it's unexpected, TRIPLY exciting.

Pet Peeves - We all have em.

My blog has been rather boring of late. I seem to have a lot a of peeves, so I thought why not make a little list and share it with the world. (Or the three of you that read this blog). These are not in order of importance, just in what order I thought of them.

1. People who walk slowly down the middle of the isle at a store

2. That my husband never puts the keys on the key hook and then I have to search the house and usually pockets to find them, which I think is very unfair since I put them on the key hook EVERY SINGLE TIME!!

3. People who make out that cloth diapers are far superior to bought ones. I have no inherent problem with cloth diapers, don't get me wrong, but PEOPLE......they hold poop and pee, wether it's cloth or not, do you really think it makes any difference to how the kid turns out? NO.

4. Organic food. Enough said.

5. Hard water deposits. It's the bane of my existance.

6. People going below speed limit.

7. Clutter. And empty boxes that my husband insists on keeping for his electronics.

8. Canadian Tire. If you have ever shopped there, you know what I mean. Nothing is ever in stock, nearly all the salespeople are either twelve, or completly uninformed, and every time I go in, I leave in a bad mood.

9. Smoking. Why would you do something that has a good chance of killing you and shortening your life span by many years. It makes no sense and is just stupid. Plus all the money our health care system has to put out to take care of all these people who get sick from it. So it's a peeve.

10. Laziness. If you can do it today, then why wait till tomorrow.

So there you have it. Agree, disagree?

8 Months

Well, I figured it was high time for an update post. Athena had her 8 month, "birthday", and her new talents in the last 2 months include, pulling herself along with her arms, sitting up from her stomach, "sitting" on her knees, and standing! The standing one is very new. She still has the tendancy to let go once she's up, or lose her balance and plop down on her butt. I think it hurts her feelings more then her bum, since she will look around to make sure we are looking before she cries! She says mum mum mum mum a lot. Not sure if she is saying it for me, or just because she hears the word mum a lot during her day. She has a nice long nap in the early afternoon, and if I am lucky, an early evening one as well. If she skips the second nap, she is a bear to deal with in the evening, but she dosen't usually go down easily for it, while the first nap, she is so tired, it's usually no problem. Bedtime is still a bit of an issue, yesterday and the day before she cried for a long time, but today she just complained for 5 minutes, so that was a lot nicer. The last week she has been sleeping through the night till at least 7, and then goes back to bed till 9-10. She is a very good sleeper, (usually) once she falls asleep. I LOVE my little baby - she is a lot more work now that she is crawling and into EVERYTHING!!! But it is so much fun to see her grow up. She danced to the music on the TV on the weekend, and it was so adorable. I never knew having kids would be so much fun and seeing their accomplishments would make me so proud! Before I sound too gushy, I am VERY happy when Jesse comes home at the end of the day, (if he's gone) and I can deposit her with him, and go be ALONE in my garden or my flower beds for an hour! How do single parents do it??

In other news, Big Brother is back on for the summer, and for those who watch, right now my early favorites are Jordan and Jeff. We also just started Season 3 of Lost, and the opening episode was my favorite one so far, so I hope the season continues in that vein. That's all for now!

A Title? Don't have one today.

So I guess the latest and greatest Kornelson news is that we got a fence!! So far half of it is up, the other half is still stacked in the back driveway! I'm not a happy city dweller, I don't think mankind was meant to live smashed up 3 feet from each other with yards the size of a postage stamp, but to each their own. So add to the fact that we have houses on each side of us that I could almost touch, with French neighbors who live on their deck all summer, (they may even sleep out there I'm not sure) I was in DIRE need of a little privacy. We used our tax refund money, and now have a very decent looking fence going up. Thanks to Dad Kornelson who helped us a whole bunch when him and Mom were down a few weekends ago. The only problem I have now is I'm finding for the first time really, how difficult it is to get something done with a baby. The weather has been brutal here lately, and has snowed the last couple of days, so today finally it is sunny again, and not exactly warm, but decent. The wind is cool. So to go out there and paint I need Jesse to be home to look after Athena, and there is lots that he needs to do out there too, so it's a little frusterating, beacuse it would be best for us to be out there working together. Oh well, it will get done....just maybe not as fast as I would like!!

The lastest on Athena is she has become an accomplished roller. Last week she finally figured out how to roll from her stomach to her back, so now she can go anywhere she wants to. She used to be stuck on her stomach because she couldn't roll back, but now she's got it all figured out. Yesterday she rolled all over the room and ended up against a wall, and then cried and was mad becasue she couldn't roll any further, and kept bonking her head against the wall trying to turn that way. It was funny. Bed time is becoming more of an issue again. Jesse and I are undecided as to how to proceed which probably makes it worse for us. We need to have a plan and stick to it, but we just don't know what to do. We're not sure if 6 months is old enough yet to put her down and let her cry till she falls asleep, and if she will learn to not cry after a few nights of that and just accept that it is bedtime. My issue with doing that is I don't know if she is old enough to understand and learn what betime is, and if she will just think that I'm deserting her and not coming to her cries. I don't want her to feel afraid, so that is my big thing with that. So if anyone has any advice I'd love to hear it. Right now we put her down around 10 with her bottle, she finishes it, cries for 10 minutes, I break, go and get her, and she is up till 11 or 11:30, where I then nurse her after she is drooping over tired, and then she finally falls asleep and I can put her down. I'd like her to be able to go to bed alone, but don't know the best way to proceed with this. Like I said, any advice is welcomed!! Once she is older and can understand what bedtime is, and is crying just because she dosen't want to go to bed, it will be different, but I just wonder if 6 months is too young yet to be letting her cry it out.

I am headed home to Kola in 2 weeks, for a MONTH!! I can't wait. It seemed so far away and now it is so close. I never like leaving Jesse but he will be taking 2 weeks vacation and driving down on the 18th. When we live so far away from everyone, it just dosen't make sence to go for a short time. Well, guess that is all for now. Jesse should be home soon, and then maybe I can go get some things done outside.

:)

Irrational Fears

Before I had Athena I would have said I three major fears. And if you stop and think right now, what are your major fears, it might be interesting what comes to mind. Anyway, these are my three overwelming and paralyzing fears.

1. Someone breaking into my house at night.
2. Bears
3. Dogs

Now, some people would have fears and they might present themselves from time to time, my fears become larger then life. For example, once darkenss falls and Jesse is away, every noise makes me jump and I feel creepy crawly and skittish until he comes home. Trying to sleep when I am alone in the house is a total nightmare, to the point where I have literally lain awake till 4 or 5 in the morning, sweating in fear, until finally falling asleep out of pure exhaustion. My fear of bears means I can no longer hike in the mountains, and when I do, I am so afraid, it's not fun even in the slightest. My fear of dogs means I can hardly even go for a walk around Grimshaw without at least once my heart pounding and adrenaline coursing through my veins as I hear a dog barking even from a distance. I have had no previous expereince with any of these three things to give me such fears, so I am wondering if anyone else suffers from something like this, or if it just me. I don't know if I have some sort of spiritual thing going on or what. Anyway, it is really annoying. And now since I have had Athena, my one overwelming fear with her is SIDS. I hate it!! I hate thinking she won't wake up, and checking one her all the time, and being so afraid to find her not breathing. It's really hard for me to let this go and trust God with her. I want to protect her, but I can't stand over her crib and watch her sleep all night, even though I would like to sometimes. ARRGGG. Anyway, that's my dilemma. Now it is late......and my husband just got home so I can go to bed....see fear number 1. Can't go to bed till he gets home.....*sigh*

16 pounds

Athena got her second round of immunizations yesterday, and she weighed in at 16lbs. She has now officially doubled her birth weight! Her shots went very well. The first one she didn't cry at all, the second one she complained, and the third one she really wailed for about 15 seconds until the bell and yellow duck claimed her attention. Then all evening she was totally fine, but today she has been CRANKY CRANKY CRANKY. I guess the effects of the shots only hit today poor girl. But I'm sure glad we have these things now. I can't even imagine living back in the days where the nearest doctor was a days wagon ride away, and if your kids got sick the only thing you could do for them were home remedies. And certainly they didn't have immunizations against the diseases we do now. I know there is kind of a conterversey over immunizations right now, and wether they cause Autism, and different things. I can't really voice my opinion too much, because I haven't really reachearched it at all, and mabye I'm a bit of a leming, but I figure if the healthcare system tells me it's Ok, I will belive them. I know that dosen't sit well with you free thinkers out there, but I just don't have it in me to question everything. That gives me too many things to worry about. I think with our next baby we will maybe wait a bit longer to start getting them done, just becasue 2 months seems so young to us, but Athena has done fine with them, and for me personally, I think it is important to get done. Jesse told me he actually read that there has been a resurgence of some of these diseases because so many people are choosing not to have their kids immunized. Be that as it may, I'm not passing judgement on parents who don't have it done, because we all just want to do what is best for our kids, and that's not always the same thing. I will say it does/did make a bit nervous to get them done, and I have been watching her very closely!!

Athena will be six months in 2 weeks! Hard to believe. She is reachig for EVERYTHING now, and whenever we drink from a cup, she wants a drink too! It's so cute, and Jesse of course is a total softie, and gives her a drink whenever she wants one. He even gave her a tiny sip of Coke the other day, which completely horrified his Mother!! Haha. Don't worry Mom, we won't give her Coke in her sippy cup! :) She is also sitting up very well on her own now, and while you still have to watch her becasue she likes to throw herself backwards every once and awhile, you don't have to support her at all anymore. The next thing I am waiting for is for her to reach for me. I think that will be cool! To see that she wants me will be a great feeling after taking care of her for 6 months!!

Well, it seems like my blog is all about Athena all the time, but since she is what my world revolves around right now, I guess that isn't too crazy! The next thing we are looking forward to is a visit from Jesse's parents over Mother's day weekend. We LOVE getting visitors! Well, guess that's all for tonight.

Trips and Such

So I just sat down to write this blog and realized my sleeve is completly wet, and I sniffed it to see if it was pee or not. CHECK - I'm a Mom! Oh yeah, and it wasn't. Phew. It is 10:15 and I am in the process of putting Athena to bed. Her new bedtime is 10. It used to be later, (usually around 11) but by that time she was so tired, that I almost found it more difficutlt to put her to sleep because she was overtired. So 10 seems to be the magic number right now. I don't want it to be too early, because I would rather she go to bed later and sleep later, so I'm really not interested in an 8oclock bedtime like some parents would be. Now she sleeps good till usually 9:30, and most morning I can squeeze another hour out of her which makes Mommy happy. Not having to get up till 10:30? I must be in heaven. Yeah yeah, you can all put your noses up at me, my husband does all the time, but I have always hated getting up early in the mornings, and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

So last week I went to Abottsford, BC with my parents where we saw extended family, my brother and sister in law, and my Omi. (Grandma in German for those of you who have never heard the term). I don't get out to the West Coast much anymore, so it was great to see everyone, and the three babies that have been born since I was there last! Plus it's always extra good to be able to see Tyson and Alida! I always say, women who marry into a family can either be a great additon, or terrible, there don't seem to be many inbetweens, and I'm happy to report we aced it with our sister in law. I hope that we can live closer together someday, and not just see each other 10 days out of the year. Athena did very well on her 10 hour drives. She slept....not as much as I would have expected but she was amazingly content for being stuck in a carseat all day! Then on the way back, my parents dropped me off in Calgary where I saw my in laws for a few days, then on the Red Deer to my Aunt's place, and she brought me to Edmonton where I caught the plane back up to Peace! Yup, I travelled half of Canada in a week and a half! All with a four month old baby, so I think I did pretty good! Well, I can't take most of the credit. My parents and inlaws are fantastic.

Tonight Jesse is in Edmonton at an Oilers game. Yup, his boss has 4 seasons tickets, so he offered them to Jesse and 3 other pilots today, so they got to fly down and see the game on his dime. Pretty nice for him! !! I guess I can't begrudge him the evening, since I was just gone for 10 days but man, an evening gets pretty long when you have nobody to share it with!

I was in Wal-Mart today and I remember when I first moved here, it seemed like my friend Jenny knew every person she passed in the aisles, and now that's become me!! Funny how in such a small town you can't hardly go anywhere without running into people you "know". Know in quotations, because I know them in a social sence, but I don't really know them at all. Don't you hate how awkward that can become??? Like, you have interacted with them enough that you can't just pass them in the aisle without seeming rude, but you really really wish you could!! I HATE awkward small talk. How are you supposed to have a 2 minute conversation with someone you bearly know, and NOT have it be awkward. If someone knows, I would pay you for the answer. I suppose it would get easier the more self confident you are, (I am guessing), so maybe in 10 years I'll love meeting those random, "I think I know you" people in the aisles, but until then, I'm keeping my head down, and avoiding eye contact at all costs!! And yes, I have started down an aisle, seen someone I know at the other end, and turned around to avoid them. I admit it!!

On the topic of avoiding people......I'd like to take a poll. Do people who talk to much without ever listening actually think they interesting and that WE are interested in their hurrendousely long, boring, and drawn out stories? Really? Or is it because us more, "quiet" people constantly get sucked into the trap of listening for hourse because we're not assertive enough in inserting our own stories. And to clarify, I am not thinking of any person in particular, so don't read this thinking I am talking about you, because I'm not! I'm just talking about how my whole life has gone in general. It just seems like I have been in WAY WAY WAY too many groups in my life where my opinions have not been heard. Not that my opinions are earth shattering or more interesting then anybody else's, but I do belive that my opinions are as IMPORTANT as other people who just happen to talk more. All you quiet people can relate to me right?? Sometimes I feel like sticking a sock in people's mouths, and saying SHUT UP!! Now it's my turn to talk, and the sock is there so you don't butt in every time I stop for a milla second to take a breath! I find it honestly sad sometimes, that people who yabber constantly, don't realize that they arn't actually making friends. Because you can't be friends with someone who dosen't care enough to be quiet and listen to how you are feeling and what you have on your heart to say. That is just the honest truth. You come across people who even while you are talking, you can tell they are just thinking about what they are going to say next. It is a true gift to a good conversationalist, but also a good listener. There are two people who immediately come to mind when I think of those qualities. My Uncle Walter, and my Father in law. Both have that innate ability to be great interesting story tellers, but be equally good listeners. I am sometimes still amazed at Jesse's Dad, and how interested he seems to be about my ideas and opinions. Sometimes I try to stop talking just because I figure that I must be boring him out of his tree, and I figure I'll just put him out of his misery by shutting up, but he just keeps right on asking questions. Haha!! So maybe I do bore him stometimes, I don't know, but I have to say I really enjoy talking with him. Oh, and just to clarify once again, I classify myself as a quiet person, but anyone who really knows me wouldn't say that :) In fact my husband would probably say I'm very loud, and VERY opinionated. It's group settings, and people who talk too much that get me quiet. I don't like to be center of attention, and I don't like having to talk louder then the next person in order to be heard. Anyway that was just my little rant, because I feel like there are too many people now a days that don't realize that to have a friend, you have to be a friend, and that involves just as much listening as it does talking, if not more. SO THERE!! AND NO, I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU SO STOP THINKING I AM!! Probably half the problem is me, because I don't talk enough and people are just trying to fill the awkward silences!! Haha. I always know I have a good friend when I am talking at least half the time :)

Well, it is 11. I hope Jesse will be home soon, but probably not for at least another hour or two. I don't like going to bed when he's not home, so I have to decide wether or not to wait up or not. The baby is sleeping which is good, so I think I will go raid the pantry. Yeah yeah I know, eating after 7 makes it all go straight to your hips, but I don't care, I'm HUNGRY!! Till next time.....

Grateful

Wow. I have had some bored afternoons lately, so I have been, "creeping" on people's blogs that I don't know for the sake of something to read. I came across two women's blogs who have had multiple misscariages, and babies who have died inutero, or soon after. I have been sitting here with tears streaming down my cheeks just bawling!! I realized how often during my pregnancy I took it for granted that everything was going fine. I am so thankful to God that He has blessed us with Athena and that she is healthy and happy. It just dosen't seem fair that a women can have octuplets, and then a loving Christian couple who just want ONE baby, can't conveive or do, but have so much heartache when their baby dies. It's like, God, if you are so good, why do these horrible things happen?? I know that is an age old question that can't really be answered, but you still wonder it sometimes don't you? I suppose the only real answer is that God never promised us a bed of roses, he just promised to be with us. It's Christian lingo to say, well it all works together for good, or God knows the bigger picture, but until you have been through real grief and loss, I don't think you really know how you will react. Once you have a child, suddenly things that you never really thought about all that much, you think about all the time. I have found myself worrying and being afraid a lot lately - and I don't want to live like that, or raise my child in fear! Of course, you have to protect your child, but if I know Christ and his love, then I don't need to be afraid, and even, I'm commanded NOT to be afraid. Just beceause I'm a Christian dosen't mean that nothing bad will ever happen to me, I know that, and so I want to have such a such a close relationship with Christ, that if something did happen to someone I love, I wouldn't lose my mind!! Anyway, the point of this post, is just to thank God for all the blessings in my life. I love my little baby like I never knew it was possible to love someone, and I will do my best for her, as long as God entrusts her to me, which will hopefully be all my life!

It's Midnight

It is exactly midnight as I start this blog. It's not often that I get up at night because I can't sleep, but tonight for some reason I have restless legs, and I felt so fidgity and wide awake I figured I may as well get up and do something semi-useful. It probably dosen't help that I watched WAY WAY too much TV today, and ate WAY too many chocolate covered peanuts. Laziness +overeating probably don't go a long way towards making one feel a "good" kind of tired. Athena and Jesse are both sleeping, so I have the house to myself....kind of! I watched Dancing With The Stars tonight, and was actually pleasently surprised. I've been pretty bored of the show the last couple seasons, and last season hardly watched at all, but I have been TOTALLY TOTALLY obsessed with the Bachlor this season, so to find that Melissa was on, was a good surprise, so maybe I will watch. My other guilty pleasure, and I don't know if I should admit this or not, but when I can, I watch The Girls Next Door, so I also was happily surprised to see that Holly Madison was on. I just find it a bit long, as it is usually 2 hours long, and there are SO MANY commercials!! I should get Jesse to download it, and then I can fastforward all the times that annoying co-host Samantha is talking. She is SO AGGRIVATING!! I hate the way she talks. Anyhoo, I have way too many shows to watch right now. Amazing Race and Survivor are back on, which are my two all time favorite shows. And, (this made my week last week) Jillian is the new Bachlorette!!!! She is from Peace River of all places, how wierd is that?? My friend Jenny went to school with her, so that is my claim to fame. It's amazing how much more interesting it is to watch a show when you kind of know somebody. Ok Ok, I don't know her at all, but I know her through a friend, and she is from where I live now....(Peace River of all places!!) So I can't wait to see her season. It's starts in May. Yeah! Wow, I blabbed about reality TV for a long time there. Yikes. The only Drams's I watch are House, (mine and Jesse's favorite) and Smallville. I have been trying to get into Lost since Jesse downloaded the seasons, but the jury is still out on that one.

Chealsey flew home last Thrusday, and I still really miss her! I got home, and looked in the fridge, saw a green pepper and realized I would have to finish eating it all by myself, and started crying! Haha. We loved having her live with us for seven weeks, and if she could have stayed another seven it wouldn't have been enough either. The best part about having her here, (other then the fact that she is just great to have around) is that she helped me SO MUCH with cooking. It was fun to try new receipes and new ideas with someone who can cook. Jesse helps me if I ask, but he really has no interest in cooking, and I can't ask him any questions about how to do things so it's just not quite the same. Also it was really special to have her for that long, since we haven't lived together since we lived at home and that was when I was 18, and she was 12!! That's a long time ago. Despite that, I have always felt really close to my sisters, but having her visit like this has only made the bond stronger.

On Friday I am flying to Edmonton with Athena where my parents are picking me up, and we are driving to Abbotsford to see my brother and sister in law, extended family, and Omi! I am this bubbling mixture of excitement and terror. We drove with Athena to Calgary when she was 6 weeks old, and it wasn't horrible, but it definitly wasn't great either. I have no idea how she will be on a plane, and since Jesse can't come with because of work, it will be up to me to hold the fort down. Then, after the 7 am flight, we have 11 hours of driving ahead of us, most of which I would like to have done in her carseat. Again, I probably shouldn't admit this, but on long drives I take her out to nurse her - especially when I was breastfeeding exclusivly, it would have taken us 5 weeks to get anywhere if we had to stop everytime. At least now I can give her bottles and she can stay in her seat, and I will try to breastfeed her whenever we stop. I hope the roads are good through the mountains.

Wow, I ate 2 huge bowls of mini wheats right before bed, and they are churning like nothing else in my stomach right now. I may have overdone it just a tad. Have you ever noticed how many creepy sounds the house makes at night? I suppose it makes the same noises in the day, but when it is all dark, everything seems magnified and more scary!

Well, I suppose I should go try to go back to bed. First I will creep a big more on Facebook, aka. Crackbook, and then see if my restless legs will allow me to go back to sleep!!

I Love my Bumbo!!

Three Months

Athena is 3 months 1 week today. Her newest accomplishments are:

Grabbing the toys hanging above her buzzy chair.
Smiling lots, and squealing when she gets very excited.
Holding her head up without any assistance, and sitting alone in her bumbo chair.

Another new thing she is doing that I'm not sure could be called an accomplishment or not, is she now complains. It's so cute though, that sometimes I leave her just a tad longer so I can listen to it for a bit! !! I can't belive how much she has changed in just three months. She definitely isn't a newborn anymore, and is developing her own little personality. She lets you know when she has been by herself long enough in her swing or chair, and then is happy to be carried and played with for awhile, and on the flip side, she will also let you know when she is DONE being played with and just wants to chill and not have someone tickling her cheeks or squishing her nose. :) She has been sleeping in her own cradle for a month now, and goes to bed very easily with a bottle. She then sleeps all night till at least 7 on most mornings. I then nurse her for half an hour, and she goes back to sleep till 9 or 10. Works for me! I love watching her grow and discover new things. It's so interesting. She is turning into quite the chubby little monkey, and is growing an impressive set of chipmunk cheeks. She's the perfect size right now to hug and squeeze and cuddle with. She definitely isn't a big cuddler though. She likes to be held, but only for the purpose of moving around and seeing the world! NOT TO BE HUGGED!! Haha. I still do it anyway though, and she has to suffer through her Mommy loving her!

It's been great having my sister Chealsey with us for the past month. She works odd hours, so sometimes it feels like I hardly see her, but now she has the next three days off, so we have some time to do things together. She's such a big help with Athena and cooking, and it's just great to have a perma-friend around!

Jesse's parents were down for the weekend, and it was fun to have them. We went out for supper, and also dedicated Athena at Church on Sunday. I was actually quite touched by the whole thing. It's a big deal to raise your children to know God, and love Him. It's a big responsibility. I think THE BEST way to raise your children with a knowledge of Him, is to have a living relationship with Him yourself. I feel that my parents did such a good job of raising us to know God, because they loved Him first themselves. I remember as a child, coming upstairs in the morning and seeing my Dad reading him Bible in his chair for his morning devotions. That has stayed with me all these years, and I've had some of the best discussions about God and Christianity in general with my Dad. I think that it is really important to talk to your kids about things like that, and let them know how important it is to you. Anyway, dedicating her was just an outward symbol of how we want to raise her, and now we will just have to take it day by day, and pray that God gives us the wisdom to bring up a familly for Him!

Tomorrow is my grocery shopping day. I am trying to shop within my budget this month, and make it more of a habit to shop only once a week, instead of whenever I feel I need stuff, since it saves a lot of money planning a menu, and then shopping for what you need, instead of just impulse buys three times a week! So far it has worked pretty good, and I have to say, it's a lot less frusterating for me as well, to know what I'm making all week, and knowing I have the ingredients on hand. I'm also trying to shop more with coupons, and watch for deals. I never really have before, I always thought it was a waste of time, but last week when I saved 15 dollers in one shopping trip, I figured maybe it wasn't so silly afterall. Well, I think it is shower time and then off to bed......:)

Wallet

Jesse and I have a benefits program through his work, and we didn't know this, but you have to submit your drug claims, (such as the Tylenol 3 I had after my c-section) to a different place then lets say our chiropractor bills. So apparently we got a little card with this number we have to submit with the claims, but I couldn't find that card anywhere, and so Jesse was half heartedly looking for it as well, and so he came to the living room where I was feeding Athena and told me it was probably in my purse somewhere. I said, NO. It's NOT in my purse, I know exactly what is in my purse and I KNOW it's not in there. So he figured he would check anyway, all the while I'm telling him that I KNOW it's not in there. So he goes, oh yeah? Well, if you really know what's in your wallet, what's in the third row, 2 slots down. And from the couch I go, my home depot gift card. He's quiet for a bit, and then goes, "Your wierd". HAHAHAHAH. I got it right!! And the card wasn't in there, and we still haven't found it, and we probably never will. No matter how organized I am, some things still end up going missing, and since I have no explanation for it, I blame my husband. Yup, he's my scapegoat......lucky him!

Days go by....

So this afternoon I was leaning over Athena in her buzzy chair to take her bottle away because she was done with it, and I somehow managed to poke her on the side of her eyelid with my fingernail. Don't ask me how, but man did she cry. I felt so terrible! I think she probably cried more from shock then pain, but you can still see a little mark on her so I'm sure it did hurt for a bit. I know all Mom's have those moments where they accidently hurt their children, or have them roll off of somthing or drop something on them, and when they are older you can talk about it and probably laugh about it, but in the moment you feel pretty horrible. My Mom always tells the story of how she dropped a glass jar of diaper rash ointment right smack in the middle of my forehead when I was little, and how bad she felt. But I don't remember it, so it's all good! Chealsey has been here for a week now, and she has got a job at the IGA in Peace River. It's been really nice having her around and especially having someone helping me with ideas for supper and cooking!! I don't know though Jenette, I think your place as favorite aunty is in jepordy here, maybe you should come out for an extended visit as well :)

Athena is generally a happy baby now. She has slept in her own bed for the past week, which is SO much nicer then sharing a bed with me. Jesse gets his side of the bed back! She likes her swing and buzzy chair, and laying on the play mat and looking at the dangly things. She isn't much of a snuggler. She likes to be held so she can look out at the world! Try to carry her laying down, and that lasts for about 5 seconds. It's nice going for walks with her, because she loves being in her stroller, and falls asleep almost right away. We had a nice week here where it got in the +'s, but now it is back to the typical -40's so it's hard to get out with her. Like today, I would like to get out and go for a walk, but it is just SOOO cold, that I don't even know if it would be good to take her out. But, since I can't get out, I am going to make a desesrt, and get fat instead. Sounds like a plan to me!!!

News

So I am very excited to report that my sister Chealsey is coming to live with us for a little while. We're not sure how long at this point - she is waiting for Gordon and Lynn's house to be finished in Winnipeg so she can move in there, but the jury is out on how long that will take, so she will be with us for probably at least 5 weeks plus. Yeah! She will be looking for a short term job up here in the meantime. I have sectioned off a part of the basement downstairs with sheets, and tried to round up any spare furniture which I dont have a lot of, to make it feel more homey down there. I'm very happy that she is coming. I always complain about not having any family around, so it will be a lot of fun to have someone here for longer then just a few days. It will make the daily activities a lot easeir too, having an extra pair of hands for Athena. She comes next Thursday to Grande Prairie by plane, so I will go pick her up, and I've already asked one of my friends Jenny to come with me, since an hour and a half drive by myself with a baby in the back, dosen't sound like such a great idea! Even her screaming just from Peace River is enough to test your sanity.

Athena is doing good. She was getting a bit constipated from the switch to so much formula, so we took her in yesterday to the doctor, and he told us to give her prune juice to get her going. She had a fairly regular poop that evening, (yesterday), so we are hoping everything regulates out without having to give her any, "laxitives". :( Poor little baby. If it's not one thing it's another right? But I know this isn't that serious, so I am thankful that she is such a healthy little girl. I have been watching Life's Little Miracles on TV in the mornings, and it follows different children at Toronto's hospital for children. After watching some of those episodees, I am reminded of how grateful I should be and I am!

It has been snowing here SOOO much lately. We have SOOO much snow, and it's been brutally cold. -40 without windchill seems to be the norm. I decided I like it though. I figure, if we have to have winter, (which we do), you may as well do it good and proper. Freaking cold, with 20 feet of snow. Now that is a decent Canadian winter and one that we can all be proud of! As long as you dress properly for it ,(which I usually don't) it's not even that bad! Not that I'm outside a whole lot right now, but I do like looking outside and feeling so snug and cozy in my house!

Well, what else to say. I figured out how to post pictures finally on Facebook, so I should be updating there quite regularly. I haven't figured out pictures on here yet....one mountain at a time people, one mountain at a time!!

Till next time......